What do you do when you’re an ugly woman?

Photo by Erik Mclean on Unsplash

We all know that our looks are where most of our worth come from, right? And maybe recently, you’ve just concluded that you mightn’t be even average-looking because somebody told you that you were an ugly bitch. Look, it’s not your fault, OK? You were born with deficient genes, and that whole myth of ‘marry a rich man’ that your mother sold you instead of cultivating a rich sense of independence and pride in your own interests and work ethic is kinda pointless now, isn’t it? If you had just realised that you were ugly sooner. Goddammit.

Here are some tips to better your situation because if you want to bag a man, you’re going to have to put in waaaay more effort than an ugly man was. To achieve your destiny of being looked after by a mediocre man, bound in contract by marriage, you really need to be good-looking, BUT there are a few things that you can do to improve your situation, so you don’t need to start your collection of spinster cats just yet. We all know there is no way you can be happy on your own, so the first way to salvage anything is to accept the cold hard reality — you are an ugly woman.

So what do you do, eh? Well, here’s what I’ve done. Hopefully, it works for you, but my results aren’t in yet. Maybe it took me too long to realise that I was bet with the ugly stick because I was distracted with child-rearing and college, but there…