What Could Go Wrong During a Brazilian Wax? (NSFW)

What waxing, childbirth and The Red Hot Chili Peppers Have in Common.

Photo by Vladyslav Bahara on Unsplash

These are 3 of the things that cause me the most severe pain in the world:

Childbirth (for obvious reasons),

Brazilian waxing,

AND

The epitome of painful mediocrity — The Red Hot Chili Peppers.

Waxing is the ultimate in anti-aging.

It involves going into the process as a grown adult woman — full bush — or in my case, undiscovered rainforest — TO LEAVE WITH THE GENITALS OF AN 8-YEAR-OLD GIRL (not in a jar, that would be suuuper weird).

You suffer the indignity of a woman disappearing between your spread legs, bu,m and bits out, WHILE SHE FIDDLES WITH PARTS OF YOUR BODY THAT YOU CAN ONLY SEE WITH A MIRROR.

The situation’s awkwardness doesn’t completely escape the beautician either — especially if they are new to the job.

Examples of awkward phrasing while trying to alleviate the situation through incessant gabbing can include, but are not limited to, the following;

‘Oh, WOW! It’s so light and puffy! What conditioner do you use?’

AND