There isn’t a top 10% of men.
Stop talking yourself out of why women aren’t interested
I’ve been reading a lot about this toxic attitude in general — mostly from men who feel they need something to blame because they can’t get laid. I have heard these attitudes subtly slip into conversations where I see some men feel sorry for themselves.
The ‘theory,’ and I will loosely call it that, is that all women are attracted to the top 10–20% of men and actively compete for them. This means men in the lower percentages don’t fare as well, while the same guys get women over and over again.
The thing is, this is a bad and reductive way of thinking about men and women. According to this, men are considered attractive for a very narrow base of superficial reasons — height, looks, and money. There’s nothing else to it about personality, kindness, or even interests. It assumes that there is no range or combination of other more in-depth factors that can make someone attractive.
It also assumes that women all find the same type of man attractive. We just have a superficial checklist of what we like. The whole six figures, six foot six inches thing…
Women don’t all like the same type of man, and women aren’t all the same.
This theory puts us all into boxes, as if women and men are a monolith. It’s damaging for…
