Member-only story
I’ve Got 99 Problems
…But a female dog isn’t one (which is a shame because I love dogs).
In fact, here are my problems, in no particular order.
1. The lyrics of Shaggy’s It Wasn’t Me.
2. The Curiosity Rover singing to itself and being left there.
3. Michael McIntyre
4. Getting enough fiber.
5. The part in Terminator 2 where yer man licks Sarah Connor’s face.
6. The Cork accent.
7. Feeling attractive.
8. U2
9. Not having enough money to do the things I want.
10. Washing spoons in the sink without water splashing my face.
11. The fact my child needs me less and less.
12. Saying ‘no’ to pints.
13. Routine.
14. The housing crisis
15. The amount of effort required to look somewhat human in the morning
16. How shopping trolleys end up in canals.
17. Not seeing the neighbourhood cat for nearly a week at this point.
18. Hornitus
19. The end of Rocky.
20. The noises the majority of women make in porn.
