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How to ADULT in Your Thirties
Growing up is hard to do
Buy slippers.
Just do it. Not just one pair. Buy multiples. You need to be comfortable inside where you will be a lot of the time when you are not physically ‘adulting’. Use phrases like ‘but they are so comfy’ and even consider buying a spare set just in case you can’t reach the original. Dressing gowns are optional also. Do not, and I repeat, do not buy or consider purchasing crocs. You haven’t given up that much yet.
Keep your rapping skillz ‘secret’.
I don’t think my rapping career is going to start any time soon and nobody needs to see or hear it.
Aim for your bed.
Try your best to fall asleep in your bed. You are no longer a child sleeping over in your mate’s hiding from your parents in a puddle of puke. You’ll just hurt your back or have a bad night’s sleep. Also, do not fall asleep on the sofa. You aren’t ancient.
Stop drinking Buckfast.
Or at least cut down. You’re old now so you probably need the caffeine. Actually screw that. Drink more Buckfast.
Laugh at marriage.
Lots of people around you are probably getting married. Don’t let this have any impact on you, even if people look at you like you’re totally sad for not being married…
