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How I told my kid about the birds and the bees
‘Bukkake is when multiple men love one woman and…’
Hahaha … Nah — that’s not how it went down. I did explain ‘bukkake’ to my chisler before, but not like that. Just so you know, it was because it came up on a card in Cards Against Humanity, and in the interest of honesty and openness, I felt the need to tell him in a no-frills way what that meant.
So how did I get to the point where I don’t get embarrassed by sex talk with the kid? Cos, I feel like this next-level openness would make many people squirm. I mean, I feel it’s really important to be completely transparent with the kid so that he isn’t scared of anything or awkward or ashamed or anything. It’s got to the point where I screamed at him not to go into a certain drawer in my room, and he laughed, saying, ‘are there condoms in there?’ to which I sheepishly lied ‘yes’ as there was much worse stuff there.
If you know me, you’ll know I’m a frigging open book and could potentially talk about sex stuff all day. The thing is, I remember being traumatised by the conversation that I had about the birds and the bees with my mam. I must have been like seven or something and had heard a woman give out to her son on some soap because he had got someone pregnant. I followed my mam around for like two days, constantly asking, ‘how did he get her pregnant?’ and she fobbed…
