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Hoes Before Bros
Ways to have fun acting like a douchebag.
Get your dude to kiss a dude.
Dudes love kissing dudes to get girls off. Make them do it because it’s hot and there is nothing a dude likes better than doing something ‘hot’ to please his lady. But remember it’s only fun if it’s two guys.
Dick Pics
Text a randomer from your phone book or on Facebook late in the night. Maybe you’re drunk. Maybe you’re not. Maybe you’re horny. Maybe you’re not.
About two texts in, start calling them sexy.
By the third message, start leaning towards your angle.
Their cock. You must see it.
You must see it in all its majestic and shiny glory now. You might not really want to even see it but hey let’s see what they’ll send you… even if they don’t want to you’ll see what you can get them to do.
Make sure that the focus of the conversation alternates between how attractive you find them (coercion) and how aroused you are.
Then when you send them make sure they know/think you are wanking about them because as we all know someone wanking over you when you’ve only met them once or twice is pretty flattering.
Even if they don’t respond, send some cleverly angled pictures of your vagina. That…
