Member-only story
DoWnLoAdInG aN aBoRtIoN
(NSFW, and also it’s a pretty depressing hardcore story)
It was 2015. The cat sat in front of me, her eyes locked on mine. She mewled, and when I failed to respond to her calls because of searing cramps and tears, she slunk closer, winding her tail around my legs, before springing up beside me on the couch. I stretched out on my back slowly, inhaling and exhaling sharply, every contraction with a sharper edge, my boyfriend’s arms wrapping. I held the remnants of the first tablet under my tongue, foaming slightly at the mouth, terrified to swallow them. I sat awkwardly, in pain, the focus of everyone’s attention in the room. I knew that the bleeding was starting, and I soon had to run to the bathroom to vomit, followed by the meowing cat.
It isn’t a choice if you have no other options available to you. I knew this when I stood frozen, staring at the blue lines on the urine-splashed test for what could’ve been an hour; I don’t remember, blank and sick at the same time. I knew this when I glanced around my lousy overpriced little flat. I knew this when I saw my boyfriend’s face when I showed him the positive result on the pregnancy test. I knew this when I considered working on my own while pregnant in my minimum-wage job and the physical impossibilities of maintaining the low standard of living that I had grown accustomed to. I knew I had nothing to offer another child right…
